The day I met my son


The decision for an emergency Caesarean is made very quickly, one minute you're in the delivery suite with your lovely wife convincing yourself that 4 cm dilation one epidural 18 hours labour is normal and everything was on target for a natural delivery, well as natural as it can be having 8lbs of  screaming new life Begrudgingly exit what was only a nine month short term lease, then before you know it your in the operating theatre with 10 or so medical professionals getting ready to operate, it's not until you peak over the green canopy shielding you from the surgeons workspace that you realize curiosity killed the cat for a reason and no I didn't really want to see that, this is major surgery, but I wouldn't  have missed it for the world.

If all dads experienced this most primitive but natural entrance to the world I'm sure stronger bonds would exist between fathers and their children, I have learnt so much about myself and having the responsibility and destiny of a tiny life in our hands, all I can say is we try to avoid the mistakes our parents made, and although you can never really remove a scar, but in the same light you can generally remember what the flesh looked like before, now that's deep, I remember hearing a great line from some film, from a father to his first born, " I love you because you are my son, but I have to confess I don't really like you", biologically we love our children, take the time and get to know them, and you'll find you like them as well, when you grow old and grumpy they'll be your only connection to the future. 

Nothing can prepare you for  what I can only describe as unique and comparable to nothing else, my first born, Isaac, few words sum up the beginning of life, but "wow" pretty much does it for me, from a fatherly spectators view, a swift but messy Caesarean birth 20 years ago, as you can see  the thick cheese like varnish known as  Vernix caseosa, I know that's sound Gross, but cheese like is how it's described medically, Vernix caseosa actually acts as  lubricant, antioxidant, and contains antimicrobial proteins and is  temperature-regulating, Isaac was at least 8 days overcooked, hence the angry baby face on being disturbed, it  must be like being dragged out of bed by your feet whilst having the best floaty dream ever, I rememember the efficiency of the medical professionals, and it was only at that point the word Caersarean section filled me with fear, we all know it's the last resort, unless you have elected to have a planned Caersarean, it is major surgery, so putting a request for a quick portrait felt right and wrong at the same time....